I.

I used to see the world in shades
of black and blue and crimson

black like thunderheads looming above 
or how it feels when the power disappears
and I’m not sure when it’s coming back 
or if it ever will

blue like bruises blotting fragile skin
as I fight to remove rubble I’m trapped beneath 
and by the gods I need to get to higher 
ground because waters rushing under the door
and the roaring is deafening

crimson like blood seeping
from self-inflicted wounds already starting to fester
in unsanitary water and I’m trying so fucking hard to survive
but I’m exhausted and scared and it’s tempting
to just let myself
sink

A Category Five
has blocked out the sun and I am trapped on the northeastern side
watching helplessly as tornadoes shred what remains of buildings on the horizon
and the water is up to my knees and I’m screaming so loud my voice is rasping
and I’m not sure where my friends went or if they were ever there at all
and I don’t know if I can swim among the debris floating by and everyone else
is getting help but no one sees me drowning
and I’m pissed because this was supposed
to mean something
when did I become hollow

the current is threatening to yank me to the depths when you sweep in on a raft of gold
you scoop me from the water like a drowning kitten but there’s no pity
in your golden eyes and your smile soothes my fears and as the warmth
you radiate surrounds me your hand brushes mine and the necrosis fades

II.

You look into my sunset soul aware
that I’m a complex being who’s fucked up over and over again and sometimes
I wander so deep into caverns I forget where I am and why I entered
in the first place but I never stop singing and maybe I am just a canary but I refuse to suffocate
even when the air presses against my chest threatening to crush my airways

there are people who need me and I can’t leave them behind
so I continue flying and singing hope and healing

III.

Your smile is soft because you knew
I’d end up here eventually didn’t you

I always do
this isn’t the first time we’ve met

you cradled my soul in your hands 
after it burst into existence
and whispered that I would know you in every life

you followed me to lovely Corinth
as I knelt before your altar and swore my oath
with trembling voice

in Cyrene you watched me write with reckless
abandon and stood beside me years later as the library burned
knowing I’d never be the same

but I never stopped writing

IV.

You’ve taught me so much in the past eleven months
and I need you to know how much you mean to me Phoebus Apollo
I need you to hear that you are the reason I’ve decided
to live and love and fly and sing in this fucking hellscape
I’ve decided to never give up on those around me
even if my bones become brittle and my lungs cave in
because community is a mountain that will not be knocked over
by the few with the audacity to try

I used to see the world in shades of black and blue and crimson
but now I see
the earth is a kaleidoscope

[Calliope Mertig is a 21-year-old writer who’s just getting started on her publishing journey after graduating from Northland College in May of 2022. Among her peers she is known for writing works on topics such as mental health and nature with many being heavily inspired by Hellenistic Polytheism due to her personal practice.]