I.

There is one myth, & there has been only the way men have told it. In that version, my treacherous husbands the Edeks paint themselves blameless. This story a string passed down through time, where it is me & my kind — the Awas — who are devious, wanton, greedy. In the Edek’s version, it was I who stole fire from the sky, & the fate befalling the Awas afterward was just for my transgression. Our banishment to the kitchen, never to come out again. The itchy scar the embers left between my legs, where I hid hot coals. In the Edeks’ version, in an act of sheer pettiness, I pissed on the fire & put it out for all time. 

None remember I had to rut with that wolf — pretending I liked his damp breath on my neck, biting back pain at his claws, digging into my back as he thrust — hoping he’d fall asleep spent before remembering my pink flesh was just as good for eating as it was for fucking. 

No one remembers I did it for them, so we could quit the forest. 

II.

The woods were dark, & we were all hungry. This was before the woodlands had names like Kashubia, like Wicker Bastion, like Baltic. Words that men came up with, later. After. Envy & shame were maddening, born from the smell of meat roasting. The smoke of cooked flesh: a torment to us, shivering in mossy caves. The Sky Wolf & his Vultures used darkness to their advantage, picking us off one by one. We hid, shivering from the cold & our own tremendous guilt. How our mouths watered, smelling the Edek or Awa’s skin crisping over the Sky Wolf’s spit in the clouds, just out of sight. Back then, we Awas were all still three-breasted, & the Edeks all sniveling mamma’s boys — though there were no words for that yet — suckling forever, latched to our tits like ticks that never got full or fell away. Until. 

III.

I settled into the work of it: breathing smoke — what is pink between my legs, fiery enough to burn everything in the world & build it back again. Ash flutters from my pubis to his fur. Small storms: a reminder of the burning. Breath shortened as I am shortened; he tastes bitter where I am bitter. He is spent where I am spent, in this bed of cloud & vapor where I have no form. 

IV.

In Babel, there is no breath; in the Wicker Bastion there were no words except Awa. There are no numbers, only the dimples on Awa’s body, where round breasts & buttocks show she is loved, she is fed, she is revered, she is all. Before there was Babel, there was Awa; before there were the letters to spell it, there was Awa, before there were fathers, there was only a surge of animated air: there was me, & my name was Awa. 

V.

How quickly they forgot me descending bald-headed, hair scorched away as I leaned into the fire to take less than the Sky Wolf had promised; just three coals, taken for all my shivering Edeks, cowering in the caves, gagging down rotten meat disguised by a bitter paste of mashed acorns. I couldn’t leave them to darkness & the Vultures, swooping to bring them to the clouds as meat for the fire. How quickly they forgot my shame, bent over like a bitch in heat, each thrust pushing my head closer to the blaze. 

VI.

It took only two breaths to invent the myth of fire: each with imbalanced lungs. I add my breath to your breath. A howl, mourning the loss of fire. My name: invented, a vowel, the size & shape of sounded breath, a reminder of the flame, a lesson in sacrifice & the beauty of burning. My name was a mistake, a cry of pain — AaaaaWaaaa! Language: forged from the hot breath of hurting. I bent over a bed of clouds & let the Sky Wolf take me, so we wouldn’t be cold & scared anymore, hungering at the smell of our own flesh on the spit. Crying out in shame, burning between my legs & for all time with each woman who followed me. Awa became my name forever, until that name disappeared, & I with it. 

I add my breath to your breath, pulling my name from the embers, tell you: this is how we quit the forest.

[Allie Marini (she/her) is a Florida Woman, cross-genre writer, visual artist, maker, and tarot reader. Find her online: @kiddeternity  www.alliemarini.com or www.creepygirltrap.com]